On the plane, we now have a new mix on the plane made with almonds, cashews, sweet sesame sticks, and candy coated chocolate pieces that taste better than m&m's. I can eat a bag (500+ calories) very fast. The pringles, which made me so fat, I at least thought were mediocre in taste, but this trail mix, salty, fat, and sweet all at once. I open the bag quickly, and I think "would I rather lose weight so I can have good sex, or would I rather eat these?" and I smile and think "eat these, definitely!"
The problem is, I am fat. I don't want to be fat. But I DONT WANT TO DO THE WORK to lose the weight again. Weight watchers works! It works very well, but you have to do it, and I dont want to. I want to regularly eat cheese and cookies and TRAIL MIX!!!
I had plenty of time to run today and I didn't do that either.
I would like to just get on with my life, get married, and be happy. But I am fat, and I feel unattractive, so even if a guy thinks I am attractive, I don't feel that way, so I feel less sexual. I am so mad that I gained weight. I wish I was 185 again, I wanted to lose weight, but I felt good at least.
I am too fat, and I am too lazy to lose weight