Thursday, October 12, 2006


I write this post from inside a tent made up of my down comforter on my bed.

It's coooold. It's 40 degrees outside and 62 degrees indoors. It will be warmer once the landlord has the radiators on full heat, puts in the storm windows, and I can put plastic sheeting on the windows.

What pisses me off is for some reason I feel like the cold apartment is my fault for putting up with it I guess. My roommate has said twice "I can't live like this." I agree, it's too cold, and I know it will get better, but it is always too cold in this house, except in the summer when it is too hot. But it is also really inexpensive in a really nice area in the city, so I feel like I should just deal with it, as much as I dislike it too.

I am worried Charles is going to feel the same way about this place. Why do I take it so personally? Why do people have to love the apartment as much as I do? I told her to wait until the storm windows are in and the plastic is up to make a decision, but I don't think the apartment gets THAT much better, I know I get annoyed by the heat and cold. But I am exceptionally good at putting up with unpleasantness. Is it learned helplessness from my adolecence with my alcoholic father? Could be.

It has not been a great day. I slept most of it, and ate the equivelent of 8 cookies worth of cookie dough. I am assuming it is leftover results of not having enough risperdal this week, and also feeling overwhelmed by projects I need to get done (not that many really) Maybe it's harder to get stuff done when I am freezing cold.

I am getting to bed earlier tonight, hopefuly tomorrow will be better

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