I just got home from the comedy show...thank god I am home. Not sure if I wrote this on my blog, but I was invited by the guy I went on an online date with to go to a show with a famous comedian, at first he said he would go in drag (from a joke we had told) and once I had established that he was serious I got really excited about it, because I love the drag aesthetic, and I was excited to see what I could create (on both me and him.)
A week or so ago, on the same day I got an e-mail from Charles, he tells me he is not going in drag. I was REALLY disappointed, and I told him that, because I thought it was lame that he said he would do it, and then backed out, and then his response was the very weird: "You said you were just interested in being friends, thats what I want in my life right now." It wasnt that big of a deal to me that he wanted to be friends, but it came out of absolute nowhere (thats a BIG leap, me putting lipstick on him, to me dating him!) And being rejected when I didn't bring it up really caught me off guard, so it hurt more than normal. It was like being afraid you might get hurt if you go outside, so you stay home, then someone knocks on your door and punches you in the face.
He had invited me to have dinner beforehand, and I accepted, but I was at costco and didn't feel like rushing, so I called him back and told him we should eat dinner on our own. I also put an envelope full of money in his glove compartment. The show was only $60, thank heaven, but I still didnt want him paying for it. I offended him, but I dont care. If he felt it was so important to clarify that this wasnt a date, then we can happily go dutch. (He didnt even hold doors for me- yuck)
It was such a awkward time. I felt resentful, even though I thought I was doing pretty well at first, basically though, I didnt feel the need to make an effort this time, and the conversation, based on his skills, fell flat. I just wasnt in the mood, I just worked 6 days in a row, including my birthday. Things would have been just fine if he hadnt said "I just want to be friends, you so obviously wanted more since you wanted me to wear heels and false eyelashes." The way things were going before was very flirtatious and joking, but now I felt pressure to not show my undying love for him. I will be honest, I was probably feeling interested in him, but that doesnt mean he had to nip it in the bud, and if he was going to, at least he should have done it at a moment that made sense.
I am just glad the night is over. The comedian is/was okay. I can see why people love him, I certainly like him, but there are comedians out there that make me laugh much harder. The beginning was really annoying, the crowd was laughing so hard at everything he said, like kiss-ass laughs, but eventually people relaxed and laughed for real, and even groaned at his bad puns (3 times.) His response was pretty funny, he was like "you can go"
I know myself. I clam up if I have been hurt.
...ha ha, he just sent me a myspace message saying "I know we dont have chemistry, but we should definately hang out again" I am just like "speak for yourself DECK" (I guess I was attracted to him, especially tonight, it might be because I am horny) Thank you, thank you for ONCE AGAIN hurting my feelings when I didnt ask.