Thursday, February 14, 2008

All over the place- Aching

So I forgot to refill my Lexapro prescription again. Problem is, when I forget, I can't fill it again for 3-4 days since I work 4 day trips. So this week I had 3 pills, when I should have had 4 & 1/2. So instead of taking a full dose for 2 days and no dose the last day, I decided to take 2/3 dose (1 pill instead of 1& 1/2 pill a day) I LOVE IT!

I am going to get a hold of a doctor, and ask to lower my dose. I know what I have been missing, I miss having drive, motivation, and I think it is tied to anxiety. I used to be SO AMBITIOUS, but I overwhelmed myself, and put myself back into depressions. But now I have been through therapy, and have learned new thinking and behavior, and so maybe I am ready to get a little of this anxious energy back.

What is funny though, is I am so ---

SIDE NOTE- Its Valentines day and the HOTTEST FUCKING PILOT ON THE PLANET just sent me a message on myspace! OH MY GAWD I AM GOING TO FUCKING DIE! I dont want to check it, I dont want to seem alone on valentines day, but I am alone on valentines day, oh my GOD!!!!!!!!

Ok, what I was saying is I am just so, god, whats the word? HUNGRY! Not for food, but for life! I am horny as hell. I want to read tons of literature. I want to take classes. I want to workout. I want to primp and be pretty as possible. I feel like I needed the medication to succeed in therapy, but now that I have learned new behaviors, I think I am ready to start to taste my natural biology a bit (a bit, I may never be off medication 100%)

I think I will tell my therapist first, and if she approves, tell a doctor.


But tell you what, I am a little spazzy, I need to pull it in a bit. But this crazy energy is what I need! I feel inspired! I feel that energy that I have been needing in my life :)

OOH! now to check my message :) :) :)

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