Friday, February 17, 2006

I can't believe this is my life!

Yeah so tonight we got a ride home from the D.J. Yeah, the D.J. drove us home. We left the bar with him, went into the booth while he got his equiptment, and all loaded up into his truck, with my roommate draped over the three of us in the back seat. We were going to hang out with his brother, him, and a few others but the night sort of fizzled, so they dropped everyone off.

So I know its not THAT big of a deal, but 10 years ago that would have been my DREAM COME TRUE! I wanted to be a DJ when I was in college, and just to hang out with one would have been so cool. I just like looking at my life and reflecting on what my fantasies of what I wished it could be and comparing them. My life really has over time become what I wished it could be, the funny thing is, now I am old enough to not care so much about such things.

So since I havent been posting much lately, maybe I can describe what my life has been. It has been a lot the same, but on thursday nights my roommate and I go to a reggae night at a nearby bar. There is a Reggae band playing upstairs, and then a "den of iniquity" downstairs playing dancehall and a little hip hop. The concert is where I met Charles, "The Kenyan prince" oh, and did I mention, he is my boyfriend now, and he treats me like gold.

Charles is the big deal in my life. I talk to him daily, and I really enjoy and respect him. Just yesterday we were laying in bed and he was telling me about a book he heard about on NPR. This is another dream come true! He is so considerate, and SOOOOO smart, hard working and just UH! So great. He seems to think I am pretty great too, last night he said "It's hard to find a woman who is both beautiful and humble" and I thought that was so great, since I think I am beautiful, but hardly enough to be at risk of affecting my humility. It sure is nice to have someone think that of me!

I guess I have a lot to write. I miss my blog. I have felt life sweeping me along lately, so I havent been reflecting as much, since I have been so busy just letting it all happen. Some might say thats a good thing, I think it is something I would like to change a bit. I value my blog, it has become a part of me. If my life is now much more fun or active, than why not commemerate it as much as I did my tortured feelings? And I have felt plenty of stress lately, stress that could be dissapated by writing.

I visited the psychiatrist for a follow up. He mentioned a Orthodox jewish tradition of saying a prayer of thanks before your feet hit the ground. I need to continue to say thinks for not being depressed. To not let this become a state I take for granted. And I must continue to work to ward off depression coming back.

Oh, and I forgot to mention...I quit the museum today. It was a long time coming. I wasn't willing to do the homework to be at the level I needed to be at. As I continued I just felt like a fraud. (I had been touring adults lately) It was a VERY hard thing to do, but I feel relieved that I did it. Really relieved.

It's 4:30AM. I should go to bed. I got a ride home from the D.J. tonight. TEE HEE HEE HEE HEE

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