Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I don't care if I bond with my family

The family is talking about politics & Africa, all things I have plenty to say about, but when I spoke up with a very good point about corporal punishment and my uncle who is from out of town just spoke right over me, without a "oh, sorry, what were you saying?"

I just walked off, not dramatically, subtly. Its my own fault, I am smart & talented, but who will know unless I assert it. i just don't care enough. I don't care enough, even if it means not bonding with my family. Even if it means excluding myself to "scan pictures" I just cant take it right now I guess. I am not severely depressed, but I am mildly depressed.

The funeral is tomorrow, I hope the crying will soften me up. I don't know where this anger comes from, but it's there. And screw my uncle for being so dismissive. Yes, he lived with my mom when I was a child, but I am older than my cousins he is having an intelligent conversation with, so fuck him. Sadly, i am going to hold a grudge about what could easily be an ADD type of mistake.

I probably know more about what they are talking about than all but one of them! GRRRRRRRRRRR

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