Wednesday, July 12, 2006

I feel like shit

So, coming home from the folk fest has not been so great. I feel so down in the dumps, I can't even believe it.

For one, I am seriously concerned that Charles and I don't have a future. The chemistry/sex bit is just NOT working, and without that, I just don't know.

I also feel sick, becuase I have been eating like I did before starting Weight Watchers, so I feel a little sick to my stomach and weighed down.

I am stressed, I told Charles that Tera is moving, and that he should move in. I know it seems strange to say move in when you question if you have a future, but if I was sure I had a future with him I would probably be less likely to want to move in. I felt like I might break up with him if he moved in, just becuase it is so hard for me to live with people. Now, if I am unsure about the future, living together could seal the deal, in either direction.

I also feel shitty because the house is SO HOT. We have only fans in the house, and they are tiny.

So it is all going SHITTY. I am not excited to continue on with my life, which just goes to show I need to change my life, possibly including an increase in antidepressants. Oy VEY.

Oh, did I mention that Charles' ipod broke, I had it powering and forgot it, so it was charging for 4 days, now it wont light up at all. I didn't even enjoy it enough to have to buy a new one. Damn.

I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life

I could keep typing that but I will stop. I don't feel any resolution from writing this, only more focused that I am stressed. Damn.

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