I cant put into words how georgeous it is outside, it's just amazing. My battery ran out so I had to come inside (I am at a coffee shop) but there are worse problems to have. I have a 3 hour break between flights, so I took a bus to the coffee shop as a way to get away from the airport, and I am really enjoying myself.
The eating only a little caught up with me, just as I knew it would. For the last two days I was too lazy to leave the hotel room for food, so yesterday I didn't eat until 3PM, and the day before probably 2PM. Both nights I ended up unable to resist the nut mix on the aircraft, the 500 calorie nut mix. Last night I ate a package of pringles too. Not eating in the morning backfired, I ate more calories, and from less healthy sources, at the end of the day. So hopefully today I learned my lesson. I had a whole wheat bagel with peanut butter, I am a little hungry right now (11AM) but not ravenous. I plan to have a healthy lunch and hopefully I can get back on track.
I am really addicted to being thinner. It feels so amazing to look in the mirror and like what you see. The night before yesterday I caught a view of myself from behind in mirrored beveled doors on the closet. I have some backfat that hangs over itself, but under that is a waist beginning to show itself. I have some love handles still, and a paunch on my stomach that I would like to shrink enough that it no longer creates a smile shape, but besides those things, I am pretty pleased with how I look. I don't mind cellulite or big thighs, I would like my butt to be a little higher, but I consider a big lower half to be womanly. My arms are chubby, but are proportional, and my boobs, while showing their age, are a manageable size, even with the milk in them.
One thing I don't like when I look in the mirror is my face has turned to pizza all of a sudden. Last week I bought a "micro dermabrasion" kit, and the day after I used it, my face was covered in tiny bumps! At least it happened now, not a few days before Linda's wedding, but I am so sad to have my already flawed skin look like a 15 year old's. Oh well, I'll live.
What's on the inside matters more than whats on the outside, but I am very happy that my outside is changing. I can see right now that most of the men I would be interested in in my age group have already paired off, and the supply is dwindling. If I am going to get the type of man I want, I will need as much going for me as possible, and men are visual creatures. Also, the most important thing to be attractive is confidence, and I feel beautiful and sexy at about 170 pounds.
But my own beauty is nothing, compared to the beauty of mother nature, so I am going to end this here, and go outside.
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