The Female Pickup Artist

Thats me YALL!

Alright, I am not going to go so far as to say I "picked up" the HAWTEST guy in the WORLD, but I think I had his attention, HE SURE GOT MINE!!!

Flying with chemistry/hatred pilot really wore me down today. This morning I was tired and cranky, and he had said for the hundreth time how he hates my state and all the taxes and liberals and I snapped at him and told him "if you hate it so much why dont you do us all a favor and switch bases" I said it with the hatred and intensity of a divorced couple. We bickered in the van to the airport for 5 minutes, and finally I figured out he gets off on conflict, and was going out of his way to upset me (he even tried to hurt my feelings, indirectly suggesting that my career isnt taking me anywhere- purely mean.) I finally said, "you know, we dont need to have this discussion. All we need is to operate the plane safely" a professional statement, but after I had already called him a dumbass. Did I mention he is the captain, as in "Pilot in Command" ???

This EXTREMELY negative guy really brought me down. I did a great job of keeping my spirits up, but I am on my period, and I am only human, so my mood slipped a little. Emma is leaving for Bangladesh in 4 days so she had a party. I DID NOT want to go. My mood was sour, and I often feel like an outsider amongst her mostly lesbian friends from her college. I spent an hour or so at home, just trying to get in the mood, and I knew I would be cheered up by The Pickup Artist Wingman Auditions youtube video.

That was linked to other Pickup artist stuff, and then I watched some guy named "Meow" or something, who's system or whatever is very similar to Mystery, but a little less smarmy. I watched it for awhile, and could really see myself in it a bit. Thats how charasmatic I am, I sometimes already do things that are being TAUGHT on a tape. Of course I am joking in the way I say it, but really, I should take pride in the fact that I DO have good social skills, GREAT ones in fact, I just need to learn how to get into that mode where they come out.

Eventually I got my head in the game, and I got my mojo on. Inspired by the reminder that I CAN work a room, if I am just relaxed and confident, I threw some earrings on and was ready to rock.

I arrived at the party and was fortunately welcomed by a nice lesbian right away. Emma and my former roommate Shane was there too, and he's a shy guy, so I sat with him and chatted most of the night. While we were chatting HE walked in...*the clouds part, and the angel arrives* There is a lotion commercial where a woman falls into the arms of a Moroccan looking guy, curly long black hair and a large nose. UH! HE WAS SOOOOOOO HOT!

So being the pickup artist I am, I just acted like I didn't notice him at all. I just went about my business. When Shane left I went into the kitchen with Emma. We bonded, especially because she was a drunk arse. I tell you what, I loved it. She is often very reserved, so it was so fun to see her happy and outgoing. We all moved to the living room, and then I casually asked him "how do you know Emma?"

Apparently he looked lost at a bus stop, and she let him use her phone. They hit it off, and this is the second time she met him. Him and I vibed. I sounded smart and positive, we had a lot in common- or at least I could hold my own. He is a professor in music theory, and has a band with a marxist message!

He just seems like an ideal man. Passionate yet a fan of monogamy. Honestly, I cant think of ANYTHING in the conversation that turned me off about him. He is pretty much ideal.

At about 3:30 we the got in my car and I came up with the awesome idea to ask him if his band has a myspace. I told him I will find it and add him as a friend. This way I avoided any weirdness in the end, it was brought up and the subject changed to social networking sites. The best part of this is, I add his band as a friend, and then I leave it. I haven't really made a move, but I left it open for him to. If he doesn't, I haven't been rejected. GENIUS!!!

Once he left the car Emma said "you like him!" to which I responded "I LOOOOOOOOOOVE HIM SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!" God he is SOOOO FOINE!

So even if I am not a pickup artist, I had a great time talking to my friend and the hottest guy at the party (did I mention he stayed after everyone left, until it was just the 3 of us) it was good for my confidence, and I will need that because tomorrow is Juan's concert, and he gave me staff credentials!!! I might meet & hang out with the bands, in fact, I think that is probable!!! Woo hoo!

It's 5:16 AM by the way. I'm the shiz-nay-ahhht!