I don't want to imagine this as a possibility- but what if we were compatible but it was my lowered sex drive from the antidepressants-

That's not it, because if we are meant to be than my antidepressants aren't a problem.

AND, honestly, if he didn't crowd me and have a bedroom stanking of bad smelling smoke (incense wouldn't bother me) than maybe things could have lasted longer.

I suddenly am REALLY at peace. I have gotten a LOT of learning material from this, and, I think I left his ego pretty intact- hopefully, (and I do think so) his life will have been better for having me in it. I sure hope so.