Coping

This was a painful experience for me, I am feeling very upset.

I have a paper and presentation due on wednesday, I have to make healthy coping choices.

Ones I have already made:
-I did not eat food to reduce the anxiety.
-At dinner time I made sure I ate, and I chose healthy nourishing food, so my brain has what it needs to think healthfully.
-I avoided (and will continue to avoid) alcohol and other dangerous drugs
-I called a friend to help me calm down
-I went for a walk, to take myself away from the situation, once the danger had passed
-I have taken advantage of this anxious energy and am putting it into school.
-I have plans to go on a bike-ride tomorrow (social and excercise)
-I have reflected on how I should deal with it if I feel suicidal (nip suicidal ideation in the bud when it is mild/SEEK not avoid professional help)
-Valued self-preservation (I have grown to care about Spider, if I am to be of any help to her, I can't be swept away by her torment)

Things I have done wrong:
-I should have gone to class after I knew she was safe.
-I feel like I could have done a better job talking her down, the cop was able to, shouldn't her "friend" be able to?

I am so glad she is in a hospital right now. What she was dealing with was HUGE, I wouldn't want to have to take accountability for that when I was on a medication that wasn't working well, along with other challenges going on in my life. I wish she would have gone to the counseler, but if her self-preservation is that low right now, than a hospital is a place where she is safe, and perhaps can feel safer creating a plan.

I can't help but think of myself 3 years ago. It woke me up to how powerful my illness is. I hope so much that her life has finally hit bottom, so she may begin the slow, but rewarding path to health.

mood: sad