Saturday, April 19, 2008

The muse is a bitch

She shows up at the worst time, at night. Especially when I need to be getting to bed. I have my running clinic in the morning, and the last thing I need is to get my heart racing when it's time to sleep.

I have been corresponding with a man who's music I like very much. Things seem to be going in a romantic direction in his mind, which is probably bad because he may be mentally unstable, but he is an artist so of course he is.

Now he wants me to be friends with his guitarist. I feel like this is also a romantic thing, but I am not going to cut things off just because of that. He had said we would be friends, so why worry about it? Well I was getting aquainted with the guitarist over IM, and the muse hit me again. When I start discussing creativity with people who practice it regularly I get this rush like "I want to be in that world!" because I know that I am creative, always have been, and I havent given myself the appropriate chance to express it since college. Probably since I went to that soul-crushing Catholic college.

So here I am inspired. I want to pull my keyboard down, but I just know I will get lost in it, and I really need to sleep.

I wish I could control her, but I suppose I havent tried yet. I am sure there are things I could learn about myself that could help me figure it out.

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