Kill the Messenger

I just saw a girl from my initial training class. We always smile and hug and catch up when we see each other, and have discussed going out. This girl wears altogether too much makeup. She wears too dark base (thought she has improved since training) she wears dark eyeliner, and way too long false eyelashes, which aren't even spread out sideways, they point forward, they look just stupid, which is so sad because this girl is really beautiful.

A few weeks ago a girl with awful makeup walked by me and a flight attendant I was chatting with, and the flight attendant I was chatting with mentioned my classmate. I thought, since we were “friends” of sorts, I sort of owed it to her to tell her. It's like the spinach in the teeth principle, you feel embarrassed to hear you have spinach in your teeth, but it's less embarrassing than coming home after an evening out and seeing you have it there, and you ate hours ago.

So I saw her and she told me I looked tired. I said “I should probably put some makeup on, that helps.” She brought up how her boss used to “give her shit” about her eye makeup, and I knew that this was the best time I would ever have to bring it up.

I tried to be sensitive, I told her that someone had said that, and that I agreed. Suddenly her body changed, she tensed up, started shuffling things around, she got MAAAD. She said “who was it...they can kiss my motherfucking ass.” And when I said “let's talk about something else” she said “I've got to go” and stormed off.

I don't feel sorry for telling her. I think it was the right thing to do. I could have just said that someone else had said something about it, but that would have been a cop-out. It could have made it sound like I think they look nice, which I don't. I think her response to me was wrong, although I can see that this REALLY upsets her. I used to wear my jean skirt rolled so it looked like a miniskirt instead of a knee length, and I got teased about it a lot, so I wore it that way even more (and as I predicted I saw this look in a fashion magazine recently) so I guess I relate to her defensiveness. But I really did her a favor. She looks bad, and she doesn't need to.

When we were in training she said about me “I am going to keep my distance from that girl, she's trouble.” The truth of the matter was I was suicidally depressed, I had made a mistake about the date of arrival, which snowballed into other problems, which made me look bad in training. I didn't hold her statement against her, I decided she had made a judgemental comment, but that her overall personality was good, so I could let it go. She should let what I told her go, because I said it with the intention of helping.

But again, I don't care. I want good things for her, but I am not going to make any further effort with her. I feel like I did the right thing, so I will stand by that, and let her do with it what she wants.