It's probably the sixth or seventh evening I have spent with Charles, and while the sex has gotten progressively better each time, this time was very good! The biggest part is thanks to a birth control I have found so I am not freaking out every second worrying about the condom breaking. I relaxed, and it was nice.
I feel so hopeful. I was afraid that every thing was there except that crucial chemistry. I felt warm fuzzies when I would think of him but not butterflies. I was very concerned that I wouldn't be able to muster up enthusiasm forever for being with him. Turns out, I just need to RELAX. And I am going to be patient with myself. OF COURSE I am going to have a hard time relaxing with him. He has long term potential. He has love potential. Thats freaky. No need to push myself any faster than I can naturally go.
AAAAAAH!
mood: glowy, a little anxious
2 comments:
You're in the most fun & challenging part of a relationship - it can feel so good you want to rush into it and get more. It is like having one bite of chocolate molten cake and then setting the dessert down in front of you and just watching it sit there oozing goodness. It's PAINFUL.
You've got a wonderful spirit and I always enjoy reading your blog. Thanks for sharing this corner of your life with us.
Good to hear that you are relaxing and enjoying yourself. You deserve it...
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