It's 4PM, I just woke up from a nap that started at noon. There was nothing that could have gotten me out of bed during that nap. I thought I was working today, but it turned out I don't work until tomorrow. Thank god. This is me first day alone in a month and a week. I have been dying for it.
I am stressed out. I had sex with Charles. (what I have decided to name the Kenyan prince.) Of course it was too soon. I told him I am not ready to do it again yet. He has been really cool about everything. I even told him about the Depression. But that doesn't stop the fact that the sex was really disappointing. He treats me like such a gem with my clothes on, I figured it would be the same with my clothes off. Instead he was ready to penetrate me before my shirt was even off. He didnt look into my eyes, and he bit my nipples too hard. He's not that great of a kisser either. After sex like that I am not real eager to sleep with him again, which makes staying together for long seem less realistic.
I am also stressed about the museum. A man in my last tour seemed to have distain for me. Like he was on to me that I am a huge fraud. I am not a huge fraud, I know plenty about the art, but I do not have a good tour planned. I need to pick, fast, what I am going to do. I really think the answer is to quit.
And the rest of the stress is I just need to decompress, to be alone. And fortunately I am today. Halleluja!
mood: blah, but not awful
2 comments:
Ah, man...hang in there...men can be such jerks...if only they knew what we wanted...
Problem is that most of us (men) don't even know what WE want until we've got it. Not sure if it's about being jerks or the fact that in those moments the blood that should be in our brain flows elsewhere.
sean
http://www.psychtracker.com
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