I can laugh about it now

Eww!

EWW EWW EWW EWW.

There is a reason why I don't feel exremely motivated to lose weight. There is a reason why I don't feel exremely motivated to spend time on my hair and makeup. There is a reason I am such a raving sexist. It's because of days like today!

Today a man got on the plane. I thought he was attractive and distinguished looking. When serving him a drink I noticed his pinky touched my hand when I handed him his soda, happens alot. Then, it seemed to happen again when I handed him his cup. My hand regularly touches my passenger's, I hold onto the cup until they have it completely in their hand, so it doesn't spill. I thought it was weird but didn't think much about it.

When collecting his cup he brushed my hand with his pinky again! I thought "eww thats really skeevy" and I also laughed to myself that it really sucks that he had to be skeevy, because I would have said yes if he had just politely asked "can I please touch the side of your hand with my pinky?"

There were only 6 passengers today so I sat in the back and doodled. On the way to the bathroom Skeevy McGillicuddy said "Do you ever get stuck in Milwuakee?" I said "yes, why?" he said he was asking to find out if I was based there. I said no and he said "that's too bad because if you were I would invite you over" I laughed and he said as he walked back "I'm serious, I'm serious"

I thought, "Oh! He likes me" and then went "Wait a minute...invite me OVER? OVER?" He didn't say "I would invite you to dinner" he said "over." When he came out of the bathroom he said something to me and I said (quite assertively I am proud to say) "It's not a very polite thing to tell a woman you would invite her OVER" he rested his hands on the seatback in front of me and said "Well there is an issue of time" at which point I saw a ring on his finger! I gestured to his ring and said "What kind of...?" to which he responded "I have a very good marriage." I glared and shook my head at him and he went back to his seat.

I was so insulted. But then I thought "If I am to respect other's sexual lifestyles, then maybe I should be more tolerant of his appraoch. If people have loveless flings they need a way to find each other don't they?" So when he leaned in to say something as he left the plane, I was open, I assumed he was going to say "I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable" because it was very obvious that he did. Instead he leaned in and said, "my wife would like you too."

Okay, now I am laughing about it, it IS pretty funny, but people approaching me in such an impolite way is hurtful. I have social phobia, which on some days makes me want to be invisible. I have just recently started to be brave enough to spend extra time on my appearance, something like this could easily be a setback for me.

I won't let it be a setback. Yes, being overweight with no makeup or hairstyle might have prevented this skeeze from inviting me "over" but it might also prevent a nice man from politely asking me to dinner. To shy away from all attention is not the solution for dealing with unkind people.

I also don't think it will be a setback for my sexism. His very rude touching and proposition contrasted with other men who have respectfully approached me shows me that yes, there ARE disgusting men out there, but not all men are disgusting, they may have tendancies but...ha ha just kidding.

I am thankful that I don't experience this alot. I realize that if I continue to spend time on my looks, especially if I lose weight, I might have to deal with it occasionally, but with the exception of one other rude man, most men have been at worst, childishly inappropriate, and at best, absolute gentlemen.

mood: mildly anxious (just got bad news)